Life at Masters College was much more different than anything I'd ever experienced, but I was able to survive it. It had it's good times and it's hard times. I made a lot of cool friends, and I was able to get involved in churches, organizations, clubs, and cliques, and it was amazing to be able to be in absolute control of what I did and when I did it. It took me a few weeks to learn how to keep my room clean, and a few more weeks to learn how long to leave the laundry before it needed to be cleaned again, but I learned that too. Life at Masters ended up being amazing, even though it was hard leaving everyone to go to Masters.

My room at Masters! And an introduction to my fiction writing hobby


The first semester at Masters, i began to make friends and start into school. I was taking a fair load, mostly sciences. I also was really excited, because I felt that on my own, I could get a fresh start and get involved in churches and do some stuff, to put it in so many words. So, I signed up for teacher (aiding) at a kids Sunday school class at the nearby baptist church, and I started working with a teen youth group in inner LA, and I joined a high school choir (helping the tenors) and started volunteering with a evangelist club on campus that would get together and go to the mall in the week and spread the good news. Between school and youth group and Sunday school and witnessing, I was a little cramped for time, but this semester was the time for me to learn how to buckle down and focus.

Organic Chemistry and Human Physiology were two classes that I knew I could handle going into the semester, and I regretted them later. I was definitely biting more than I could chew, but it wasn't until the second semester that I started to find out that all my classmates in Ochem that were succeeding were not taking any other upper class courses at the time, and all my classmates in Human Physiology weren't either. That would explain why I didn't get the most stellar grades - I was taking all the hardest classes together. It didn't help that because the college didn't accept Ochem from my junior college (even though all the CSU's and UC universities did), that I had to wait two years between Chemistry and Organic Chemistry (wince)... catching up wasn't my best performance.

Because I got a C in Organic Chemistry, my parents and I decided that I wasn't going to help out in the witnessing team, or in the Sunday school or in the choir or the youth group the next semester, but was going to buckle down and focus some more. Which was smart, cause next semester I had Ochem 2, Human Physiology 2 AND physics... if I thought two upper class courses were tough, wait till I had THREE! O boy, it was intense. I never studied more in my life! Every class I'd run back to my room to review for an hour and a half, and then run to the next class. I was pulling overnighters to review when I didn't even have a test to study for! Just cause I couldn't get the material (Just so you know, that's pretty dedicated for me)! But to no avail. This semester completely drained me, and the Sunday school and youth groups that I thought were distractions from school, I began to miss as my stress relievers, as school dried me out, and I began living from class to class, pretty much living for the opportunity to go to sleep five nights or so a week. It was enough to drive me nuts, but as long as I could keep a smile on my face for extended amounts of time, I figured I could do pretty well. There were those times, though, when I got bad tests back, or when i pulled an overnighter again for a test and knew I wasn't gonna remember the material on the ream of flashcards that i had run through over and over again, those times when it was hard to keep that smile on my face for extended amounts of times, but my wonderful Hotchkiss support group, our small group, kept me in the word and kept my spirits up. I don't know what I would have done without them!

As the finals are drawing to a close, and my projects are all in, and I am starting to pack for summer, I know I didn't do well this semester. I don't know if I did better now than last semester, but I do know one thing. Last semester, I didn't know if I could have worked any harder, and I knew if I could have done more, than I had wasted an opportunity to shine. But this semester, I went into with the knowledge that my career depended on these grades. And, though my grades have caused me no small pain, I can say with all honesty that I did put my all into it this semester. I seldom went to a party or a game last semester, but I gave absolutely everything up and put every ounce of energy I had this semester into Ochem, Physics, and Physio, and the rest of my classes this semester, and as poor as the results are, I know that they are a product of my very best work. Despite the overachieving course planning on my part, and the distractions that college life provides, I know and am confident that wherever God leads, I will follow, and I will not waste opportunities, because I will put my full effort into whatever he requires, and will trust him for the rest.

Next semester will be a little different. My course load will be about the same, with a biochem, a course well known as the most difficult at the university, and a full complement of Theology, Bible Survey, Philosophy, Bio Seminar, and more, but I will be off campus, which will raise commute time, and unfortunately, I will have to workstudy part time to afford the college... Yeah, those academic scholarship things only last as long as you are an academic scholar, funny things those. So, part time job, plus same study load... God will teach me many things this next semester! I certainly will try to be ready! I deeply appreciate prayers at this time in my life, I certainly wasn't expecting God to be opening and closing doors so early in my career, but as scary as it is, it can also be exciting. Planning your own life over and over again does end up getting boring, and I'm ready for God to show me his plan for my future, instead of letting me stare at my own plan week after week.

For the summer, I'm in Africa! I'm gonna be writing on this blog - check it out!
http://www.our-missionfield.blogspot.com/

Our homeschooling venture started before I was born, and I was homeschooled all the way to High School. I do remember well our old homeschool group, FAITH (Families Active In Teaching Homes) which is now under a different name and different management. We had lots of fun in the homeschool group! My older sibs attended classes for a long time, and all of us kids could join in the P.E. activities from early ages, (which were a blast). We also sang choir in the homeschool group for Christmas parties and had special days where we could show off our studies to other families and see what they had been studying. Those days were fun, filled with carrying snakes and wielding heavy Scottish Broadswords, examining carefully assembled villages, castles, temples and pyramids, and checking out western US frontier artifacts.

When I got about ten or eleven I was old enough to tag along with my older sibs on their speech tournaments and I got a taste of speech and debate as I timed their rounds. I couldn't compete with them until I was thirteen, but I watched and learned as best as I could, and enjoyed their parties and meeting the other kids as they timed. I loved it when I got to time a duo impromptu speech or a drama or humorous interpretation, and I got bored easily when it was an extemporaneous or a debate round. But it was still fun to travel across California, with or without dad, with the older guys. I got so used to hanging out with the crowd and having fun, that when I actually became a man (turned thirteen) and joined the competition, all my efforts put towards the tournament were primarily focused towards social engagement and not towards my work. The only reason I got my Illustrative speech finished was that we had a wonderful speech coach who spent hours with me at a time, personally, working through all of my ideas and finding pictures and printing them out and cutting them out and figuring the whole plan out. I was a poor planner, and even a poorer speaker, at thirteen, but thanks to her and her wonderful family (who I miss so much) I was fully prepared as the competitions drew near. I finished all the competitions with one diploma for an amateur impromptu apologetics speech, and a lot of judges comments on improvement.

Whether or not they would have helped me improve we'll never know, because for reasons that were good to my parents and have been forgotten by me, we left the homeschool group, got our act together, and began homeschooling on our own. We continued for a while, working completely independently, until Andrew and I started taking sporadic classes at the junior college nearby with Samuel, and by the time I became a part time college student. By that time we were back into a co-op homeschooling network, and Andrew started taking classes again with friends throught the network. Homeschooling was hard when I was in it, but now that I'm in the school system, it was so easy - and so fun too! We had lots of time to finish it, and it was our fault if we were doing school all day, because we could finish faster if we wanted too! But now I was in public school, and there were class periods and homework due and tests that couldn't be procrastinated... ah, the good old days.

I attended the community college for most of my remaining high school classes and for my Gen Ed for college. I knew I couldn't afford four years at a good private university, but with help from the junior college, perhaps I could afford two years at a good college and graduate. My finances were a lot more serious now that I had (three years ago) gotten into a fender bender with a much bigger SUV and had to pay for the complete engine block on our Maxima... I still moan to think of it! I was looking at a few schools, but mostly just The Masters College because my brother and a few cousins went there, and my aunt and uncle taught there, and John MacArthur was the president (we listened to him a lot on the radio) and it was ranked like third or forth best in its category in US news and World Report or some other prestigious sounding magazine.

So with that goal in mind I started taking classes in the summer of 2004 (I turned thirteen during the class). I took Latin that summer with Mom and Andrew (who was eleven) as a night class, and it was very fun! The teacher was neat, and he wasn't that worried about this class because it was his last class to teach at the college before he transferred, so he was really chill. We all went to class each day, got our assignments, got home, would do them together, and then turn them in the next day, and for the most part, whatever Andrew and I missed, mom would go over with us, and so we all aced that class (thanks mom!). Next we took a judo class together (Andrew and I) and after that a piano class. Then we started taking real classes. Statistics and History and Music appreciation and more piano and economics and computer science and chemistry and spanish and biology etc... in all, about 90 or so units transferred, so a little more than two years got finished. Which was radical awesome, because each class that I finished counted for one less class I had to pay for here. My favorite class would have to be biology. Not the first time I took it, but the second time. Our instructor was a student at another university at the time, and of course our views on origins didn't align perfectly, but he was an inspiring man, even to two or three years later. I still remember his lecture on studentship and scholarship, and his ending lecture of continuing to learn. It was an amazing experience - if any readers have to take biology at Solano Community College, definitely take it with Brad Paschal (Also, take Judo with Jimmy Tanaka - it's awesome)! I also deeply appreciate all the people who gave us rides to school, from our friends at school to Sam, and Kelly Allio, and Adams Tegeler... and a lot more, but they helped the most.

But I finished those up soon, my later classes pulling my GPA down from the A's that I had gotten in Judo and Piano and Latin, but I finished all the classes that could transfer, and I got the financial aid to go to Masters as I had always figured, and off I went. I was excited to leave all the way up to the week before, and then a wave of depression hit as I realized that a new life down south means I loose the old life up north. Thankfully, that wasn't the case, and It did kinda bring me closer to all the other people that had to leave Vacaville before me, the pioneers of the past...

Camp was always a highlight for us! I remember when we first got our tent trailer, going to the place and comparing different ones... I remember many many good friends we camped with and many different places too!

I know my memories of Plumas Eureka are by far my favorites, but there were at least four other campgrounds I remember specifically, one with a lake that we raced across in paddleboats and an arcade and lots of deer, another with a larger lake that we walked around (where I caught a pet snake! At least I think I did - dad may have caught it and given it to me - I'm not entirely sure. But he was with me, so he would know. It was a water snake, and I brought it back and kept it in our inflated rubber boat for a while. Never did end up keeping it though. Loved boating in that thing! I remember we rented a real boat (with a motor) at that campground too! And did I mention we watched Shrek in an outdoor theater - was an awesome experience!

I miss all the friends I made on those camping trips - friends whose names I can't recall, and who's faces I might not place - but I remember some of the fun times we had together! This encourages me to invest more in my friendships now - I don't want to ever have to say that about any of my present friends!

Plumas Eureka was the best! Even though my strongest memory of camping there was when we got mom lost on the mountain, and looking for her for hours hoping and praying for the best, I still loved the mountains and trees and rivers and lakes up there more than any other place we tried. The hikes were always beautiful, and our friends were always amazing, and through the pranking and swimming and hiking and creekwalking and singing and storytelling and smore making and cooking and dishwashing and exploring and biking and games, it was by far my favorite place! I won't soon forget the big rock bluff on the lower campground that opened to the meadow, or the swimming hole we all loved that dried up four or five years ago, or the crafts and tours we went on, or the amazing bakery we went too twice, or even the Sand Ponds that we frequented years back. I also remember the geocaching we did, both at camp and at home - that was lots of fun!

I remember our church starting up - with 72 people on the first day! It was a good start! We had lots of friends there - even the neighbors came to join us! It was in September or November of '02, I think, and we kept a big crowd going. I remember printing out programs with songs on them, and then when we got the old red hymnals to use. We kept them for quite a while! In fact, I don't think we actually got rid of them until last year, even though we replaced them five or six years back with newer blue ones. The hymnals lasted us for quite a while, and when we met the Cole/Hussey/Erickson/Ware (CHEW) gang, we got the projector set up for the worship songs (thank you again for such wonderful leadership, Mr Cole!).

I remember all the potlucks we used to have too! Those were fun! We used to have them pretty often, but we slowed down. We met the Coles and the Husseys at one of the potlucks, after they had visited the church, and I still remember that potluck like it was a month ago! It was awesome meeting so many cool new friends, but I think it was wrestling Chris and Sammy and Jake (the fact that all the other Cole and Hussey kids were the ages of my siblings kind of stuck me in their category, as far as friends go) that first day (they did beat and wear the marbles out of me - I still remember feeling sick that evening) that planted the beginnings of a long, funny and awesome friendship between us! Although I have to say, it wasn't until I met Miles and my Morrison brothers that I actually felt like I had peers, per se... but all of my friends are my peers, not just the ones in my age range. Though, as far as peerishness goes, I'd have to say that Miles and Sam and Ben took the friend cake!

I remember meeting the Ericksons at the park flying a kite, and Miles at the park playing basketball. That finished off the CHEW group of our friends, and everyone started attending Grace Fellowship soon after, and we were tight forever and ever! (depending what your definitions of 'tight' and 'forever' are!)

Church lasted for about 8 or 9 years till last fall, when, as a result of God's leadership, the church dissolved temporarily, and many people found new churches. By the time Grace fellowship was up and running, only four families were still in attendance, but where two or more people are gathered...

I miss my friends at Elmira Baptist, and in the Faith Homeschool group, and in the speech and debate circles, and at camp, and at Summit in Colorado... I miss my friends from church too! I will try and stay in contact with friends as long as possible so that I don't lose anybody else! I love to hear from all my pals, so if you have a free moment, don't hesitate to send me an update about you! Its reassuring that your not drifting away!

I was born at home in evergreen, and never had visited the doctor before now at seven. I was also slightly stunted, pale and thin, compared to the rest of the family. When the doctor listened to my heart, he noticed a heart murmur that he figured it would be good to get checked out. In another week or so, I had seen a cardiologist who narrowed it down. I had a hole in my heart the size of a nickel, mixing the oxygenated blood with the deoxygenated blood, and in effect starving me of oxygen. Hence my stunted growth, pale complexion and general weakness. The condition wasn't rare, but it was usually detected by birth and surgically repaired by then. Only I had never seen a doctor, so of course, I should get it done right away if I was to live to forty.

I thought surgery was gonna be awesome! I would go to the big city and come back with an awesome scar to show everyone, and meanwhile everyone I talked to tried to comfort me (as excited as I was) telling me I wasn't gonna die, and everything was gonna be all right. I didn't actually get sad at all until a week before when we had friends from Napa over and they were leaving. As I said "see ya later" I realized all of a sudden, if I died, I would have to wait for years before I would see any of them again! Then the floodgates were opened, to be biblical about it...

The hospital was huge! It was awesome! I remember the game room, all the kids everywhere, and how clean it was! I had a really awesome staff too - especially a Doctor Grace - she was amazing! Don't know what she's up to now though. I remember being afraid for my roommate in the hospital, who was younger than I and was in for his 7th surgery that year. I was only in for one, it could've been worse. I loved the food there, enjoyed the games, and even liked the fruit juice that Dad gave me the next day as I lay in bed, and started counting down at his request... I got from 10 to about 6. That was some powerful stuff!

The whole next day disappeared. I woke up two days later, with gifts and pictures and visitors and videos that showed me up all day the day before, only I to this day never remember the day right after my surgery. I remember getting a shirt from the Elmira Baptist Church Bible camp, who all came down to visit, and I remember Dad never leaving the hospital for anything, but all my memories of the day after the surgery are from the videos and pictures taken. That stuff was really powerful!

All in all, the surgery was worth it. I had a boat load of gifts at the hospital, and tons more at home when I got out. I remember being upset that the hospital let me go early, because I wanted to finish a game in the game room (not to worry though, this tragedy has a happy ending; about 4 years later mom unintentionally got the same exact game for us as a school project). There were many many gifts, and quite a few that I remember to this day, prominently a Mug full of candy that read Get Well Soon that lasted for about 6 or 7 years before the handle broke off. I still have it today though, along with the huge teddy bear that I got after. And of course, the mark of bravery that I sought was finally mine, a huge scar from my neck halfway to my belly button! it even came with staples that made it look like a zipper! The blessing for mom and dad was that for the first time ever, they had finally gotten medical insurance a matter of weeks before the pneumonia and the surgery! God was good to us!

After that, I couldn't get out and play for thirty days. I still remember those thirty days of looking out the window and watching people! It was so long! But it was soon over and I was sprouting up and filling out until I definitely looked like a normal Carstensen, and after that I wasn't nearly as tired as before and sports took on a whole new light! Ah, those were the bright old days! Visiting friends in Napa and eating homemade Ice-cream for the first time, and visiting friends in Winters and climbing a tree to the absolute best treehouse in the world, even camping year after year at different camps, watching shreck in an outdoor theater at one, catching a snake and riding a boat at another... those were indeed the days!

My first 8 years were too short, but God has given me memories that have lasted to the present, memories that I will cherish! I only hope and pray that the lessons I've been taught through my last eighteen years will stick to me like these memories did!

But, before we knew it, we were on the road again, moving farther away than I had ever moved before - all the way down to Vacaville, the neighboring town. I remember checking out the houses and walking back and forth through fancy models with fake flowers and no pictures, houses that looked like no kids lived there, and choosing our favorite. I also remember after we chose the one with the pool table upstairs (I was disappointed we didn't get the pool table) that we got to visit the site of our house as it was being built, through the foundation and the skeleton being erected, and then as the building took form. Then we moved in. The huge garage had room for a large bike rack, which all of us older 5 children to put our bikes for our morning bike rides (which eventually evolved into morning runs). Then our junk began to get organized in the garage as our new friend and neighbor handyman showed us how (and helped us) line the garage walls with cabinets.

I remember how our front and back yard looked desolate, with dirt and mud misshapen everywhere, in different colors and consistencies, muddy at times, and dusty at others. I remember having to use the big water filled roller in the front and back, sitting on it occasionally when mom and my sibs pulled it across the yard, and trying to pull it across myself. I remember the mounds that slowly formed the treeline in our backyard, as the bumps in the middle spread out until we could pour the concrete.

I remember good friends the Davis' that came out to help us poor the cement for our backyard and front yard (it was one of them who finally had pity and taught me how to skate correctly after days of failure) and Uncle Robert, a good friend of the family, helping put in our sturdy gate, and even our huge patio overhang (that was a long project!). After that, the sod filled in the front lawn and the back, and we filled the sides of the backyard with stones and trees. Some lived, like the cherry trees and the tangelo tree, and some died. I also remembered the semi-successful blueberry plants on the back - those blueberries were good! I also remember mom experimenting with the front, getting redwood gravel, because it was so bright and cheerful looking, and was healthiest for the plants. I remember her planting the mint plant in the corner, which was fun to smell all of the time! and I remember her working on the rosebushes week after week for 12 years, trying to make them perfect accents to the fence behind.

I remember our bunk beds. I got the top for pretty much the whole time Andrew and I shared the room. We had the best legos ever, too - Andrew had his collection, and I had mine, and we each thought our collection was the best. To tell you the truth though, I always was slightly envious of his cool boat pieces... I could never build a good looking ship without them.

Around this time was our search for churches. I remember a church where every woman wore a cap, and a church with giant ants in front, and a church with an awesome Sunday school. There was also Christ Community church, where the worship was more modern than ever before, with a drum set, of all things! I remember the first song we sung there, He is exalted, which got me swaying in church for a moment, then stopping and glancing up guiltily at dad. There were some cool kids there, and we made some friends. I also secretly planted a garden of dandelions behind the side of the church and checked up on it every sunday. I was proud of myself! We searched for two or three years, including one long stay at Elmira Baptist church. I loved the skits there (even when I, as the main character, giggled when I was supposed to cry) and remember thinking a friend was going to die as they suffered a severe athsma attack right beside me, and had to go to the hospital. I loved the choir, and the piano recital (where I will always remember that one song where I froze for about 5 minutes straight halfway through). I also remember the creek where we would catch frogs and tadpoles, the three wheeler that the pastors son rode, the train tracks, the bar down the street, the stairs where I lost my two front teeth, the lawn we played games on at VBS, the singing at chapel, and the Sunday school where I first was led to salvation. It was while we were at Elmira that I caught pneumonia severely and couldn't go to the Institute in Basic Life Principles Conferences we went to every year or so. At those conferences, us kids would pile into buses every day to a daycare boy scout type camp and make friends, as our troops would participate in dozens of activities, including rappelling, watching skits, shooting waterballoons at targets, and guiding blindfolded pals through mazes of obstacles. But alas, that year I was seven and God wanted something else to be brought to light, so I caught a severe case of pneumonia and my younger sister caught it too. So we stayed home, and visited the doctor, who prescribed antibiotics that cured me, but didn't work as effectively on Claire. On her second visit, I joined along just for fun, and the doctor decided to humor me and listened to my heart. Good thing too!

My earliest memories are of our house in Evergreen Ct, Fairfield, where I must have been around 3 or four years old. Of course, I don't remember much, only that the house was small, and I think we had a swing set in the back. I'm pretty sure the house was brick, because I seem to remember the gold house numbers on the brick background (but for all I know the house numbers may have been white). But what I remember the most about the old house was the walks and (for the older kids) bike rides we used to have around the neighborhood, visiting friends and playing at the school park nearby. One thing I don't remember at all was the accidental amputation of my fingertip. I am rather grateful that memory is not among the rest! I also remember a loft (it might have been at another house though) with toys that the youngest of us could use, and I would always be trying to stick my head through the bars that separated us from the floor below. I was not always successful, but one time I did get stuck, and another time I actually got through, somehow ending up on the other end, holding on the edge of the loft floor and screaming lustily for dear life. (Oh, by the way, thanks mom, for the rescue - and I'm sorry I scared you so much!) But of course, even those memories are merely a flash of light from my past.

I wonder if when I am 30, I will be able to remember any of that. Well, I'll probably have photos to look at to provoke my memories into surfacing.

After Evergreen, we moved around a lot in Fairfield. At our house in Sausalito, we had a long back yard, with lots of bushes and three round patios, side by side. We also had a tree in the corner, a tree that we all loved to climb because it's thick branches stretched to the ends of the sky, or at least it looked like that because I was so young. I remember birthday parties, wild neighborhood decorations for halloween and christmas, and elaborate obstacle courses that we set up for our siblings, starring the bathrooms as springs of living water, and the staircases as cliffs of terror, not to mention the garages as caverns of deadly horrors. Yes, I think I was slightly terrified of the dark.

After two years there, I was about five or so, and we moved into Candleberry Lane for a while. I think it was there when we finally left our church we'd been apart of my whole life, though it could've been earlier. I only remember fragments from that church, winning a coloring book in some sort of contest, plotting when I'd climb the hill behind, exploring the fields in front, and hanging out with older kids, friends of my older siblings. I also remember almost always having to hold Dad's hand, me on the right and Andrew on the left, wherever he went, and the big cabinets full of bibles in the back of the church. I remember visiting friends of ours, the Moody's and exploring their lands at night (and even more memorable, acting in a skit with mom, demonstrating the way Enoch disappeared when he walked with God). I also remember having to take sunday naps in candleberry, with large mirrors (probably from old closet doors) lying against the wall in Dad's room, where we napped. I think for a bedroom, Andrew and I shared even back then, each with a mattress on the floor and those crazy peanuts cartoon bedsheets that we saved probably till this day. If they fit, I'd probably be wearing them at college! Would've saved a buck for more pop tarts! I think it was at Candleberry that my older sibs and Dad got a job passing out the newspaper. They biked back and forth through the earliest hours of the morning passing papers, and I begged to join them so much, they let me tag along some of the last weeks before we moved, and I got to throw some newspapers on some driveways. I also remember driving quite a distance to purchase our van, but I'm not quite sure of the timeline on that. I just remember going out into the country, looking at it, and piling in and driving back. It's held us a good many years.