I was born at home in evergreen, and never had visited the doctor before now at seven. I was also slightly stunted, pale and thin, compared to the rest of the family. When the doctor listened to my heart, he noticed a heart murmur that he figured it would be good to get checked out. In another week or so, I had seen a cardiologist who narrowed it down. I had a hole in my heart the size of a nickel, mixing the oxygenated blood with the deoxygenated blood, and in effect starving me of oxygen. Hence my stunted growth, pale complexion and general weakness. The condition wasn't rare, but it was usually detected by birth and surgically repaired by then. Only I had never seen a doctor, so of course, I should get it done right away if I was to live to forty.

I thought surgery was gonna be awesome! I would go to the big city and come back with an awesome scar to show everyone, and meanwhile everyone I talked to tried to comfort me (as excited as I was) telling me I wasn't gonna die, and everything was gonna be all right. I didn't actually get sad at all until a week before when we had friends from Napa over and they were leaving. As I said "see ya later" I realized all of a sudden, if I died, I would have to wait for years before I would see any of them again! Then the floodgates were opened, to be biblical about it...

The hospital was huge! It was awesome! I remember the game room, all the kids everywhere, and how clean it was! I had a really awesome staff too - especially a Doctor Grace - she was amazing! Don't know what she's up to now though. I remember being afraid for my roommate in the hospital, who was younger than I and was in for his 7th surgery that year. I was only in for one, it could've been worse. I loved the food there, enjoyed the games, and even liked the fruit juice that Dad gave me the next day as I lay in bed, and started counting down at his request... I got from 10 to about 6. That was some powerful stuff!

The whole next day disappeared. I woke up two days later, with gifts and pictures and visitors and videos that showed me up all day the day before, only I to this day never remember the day right after my surgery. I remember getting a shirt from the Elmira Baptist Church Bible camp, who all came down to visit, and I remember Dad never leaving the hospital for anything, but all my memories of the day after the surgery are from the videos and pictures taken. That stuff was really powerful!

All in all, the surgery was worth it. I had a boat load of gifts at the hospital, and tons more at home when I got out. I remember being upset that the hospital let me go early, because I wanted to finish a game in the game room (not to worry though, this tragedy has a happy ending; about 4 years later mom unintentionally got the same exact game for us as a school project). There were many many gifts, and quite a few that I remember to this day, prominently a Mug full of candy that read Get Well Soon that lasted for about 6 or 7 years before the handle broke off. I still have it today though, along with the huge teddy bear that I got after. And of course, the mark of bravery that I sought was finally mine, a huge scar from my neck halfway to my belly button! it even came with staples that made it look like a zipper! The blessing for mom and dad was that for the first time ever, they had finally gotten medical insurance a matter of weeks before the pneumonia and the surgery! God was good to us!

After that, I couldn't get out and play for thirty days. I still remember those thirty days of looking out the window and watching people! It was so long! But it was soon over and I was sprouting up and filling out until I definitely looked like a normal Carstensen, and after that I wasn't nearly as tired as before and sports took on a whole new light! Ah, those were the bright old days! Visiting friends in Napa and eating homemade Ice-cream for the first time, and visiting friends in Winters and climbing a tree to the absolute best treehouse in the world, even camping year after year at different camps, watching shreck in an outdoor theater at one, catching a snake and riding a boat at another... those were indeed the days!

My first 8 years were too short, but God has given me memories that have lasted to the present, memories that I will cherish! I only hope and pray that the lessons I've been taught through my last eighteen years will stick to me like these memories did!